What About the Men in Church?

The other day I was talking to a friend. His question was: What are we going to do about getting men more involved in church? It's not a new question, but rather as old as the church, I suspect. Next Sunday look around your church as see if the women don't outnumber the men at least 3 to 1.

We men are some strange birds, I admit, when it comes to church. One author I've read blames men's lack of enthusiasm for church on "the feminization of our culture." There might be some truth to that. Think about it. What do we ask men to do when they come to church, either overtly or covertly? Be nice, use your "church voice"- which means ssshhhhh!, smile even if you don't want to, don't cause a scene, and say your sorry even if it's not your fault!

There's nothing wrong with using good manners, being polite, and matching your voice level with your situation. Every man knows not to cause a scene unless the scene calls for it, and the question in every man's mind at some point is: Why do I have to say "I'm sorry" if it's not my fault? Men are doers. God put a warrior spirit in every man. We want to solve the problem and save the day, even if we don't have a clue how to do it; and something else- remember the action heros we read about and watched on TV when we were kids- we wanted to be like them then, and to some degree we still do. Inside every man is the desire to be somebody's hero. That's part of being a man.

Here's some more info on men. We like to take stuff apart and put it back together- and most of the time having parts left over doesn't bother us as long as what we tore up and put back together works or runs. We like outside, physical stuff like sports, hunting, fishing; and if you really want to get our blood moving, give us a hammer, some nails, a skill saw, or a chain saw- and get out of the way!

But here's something else about most men- we realize deep down in places that we have a hard time letting people near, that we're not everything we need to be or should be. We need help. We need Jesus. We need the church. We know there's more to being a real man than what we see and experience in the workplace and in the culture. So, from a pastor's heart to wives, wives-to-be, and the people of God in churches everywhere, I offer the following. This is also for my friend who lit the torch that got me thinking about this subject.

I was reading in Momentum magazine the other day and ran across some help. Since men love action, here are some verbs to help us think about and plan men's ministry; and to help us answer the question: What about the men in church?

1. Connect. We always say that the priorities of a man life- in order- should be God, family, church, then everything else. Men need to connect with God, their wives and children, believers in the local church, and people in their workplace and community. A strong, vibrant men's ministry through the local church can help facilitate these connections. But here's the catch- it's got to be attractive to men, allow men to be men, and speak their heart language.

2. Grow. Part of being human is growing. Whenever something doesn't grow, something is wrong. Here's the truth: men are either growing toward what God created them to be or away from it. Spiritual growth is a necessity for being the men we were born to be. We've got to know Jesus personally; we've got to know what our Lord expects of us; we've got to have spiritual mentors; and we want to mentor others. We've got to have Bible study opportunities and prayer opportunities that provide regular encounters with God's Word that will keep us growing spiritually and moving forward in our journey with Jesus.

3. Serve. The local church needs the service that men can provide. The Bible speaks of spiritual gifts being given to every Christian for the good of, and the building up of, all of God's people-the church. When men's ministry works like it should, men will discover how God wired them up with spiritual gifts, empower them to use those God-given gifts, and provide opportunities for men to get down to the nitty-gritty and use them.

4. Go. Galatians 5:22-23 lists the fruit of the Spirit that should be growing in every man's life. People grow physically through physical exertion. Picking up things, walking, running, strength training, and a host of other activities ensure that the human body grows and develops healthily. Likewise, if men are going to grow spiritually healthy, they have got to be given opportunities to go and do. Missions and evangelism helps produce the Fruit of the Spirit in a man's life; and nothing makes a man feel like he's accomplished something, like results. When men see a building go up, get painted, or go through remodeling; or, when men see other men come to faith in Christ and grow in that faith as a result of their efforts, it makes them feel like they've accomplished something for Jesus- then suddenly, church makes sense.

Connect, grow, serve, go. That's sounds like a good outline for a thriving men's ministry. How does it sound to you? But men, come up real close and let me tell you from my heart: it doesn't matter what kind of program or effort your pastor or other leaders in the church put together to help you be all that God created you to be, it won't mean anything unless you put forth the effort to participate. Come on, the local church needs you. It's not perfect, but neither am I and neither are you. But together we can serve the cause of Christ in this world, really make a difference in our families and communities, and have something to offer our Lord when we see Him in heaven.

May God bless every effort you put forth for Christ, your family, and your local church.